KUKKU Notice of Impending Doom
To: Pagan Puppet David Dalton, the Canadian Warlock
From: KUKKU - Krispy Undercover Kuss Kopp Unit
Date: September 8, 2024
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Hear ye, Hear ye!
This letter serves as a stern warning to you, David Dalton, a.k.a. the
Pagan Puppet, a minion of the notorious Marco Debeeste. The Krispy
Undercover Kuss Kopp Unit (KUKKU) has been alerted to your recent cuss
crimes, and we are not amused.
Your foul-mouthing and cursing have not gone unnoticed in the hallowed
halls of Verbopolis. The whispers of your transgressions have reached
our ears, and we are prepared to take action. You may think yourself
clever, hiding behind your mystic musings and cryptic numeral counters,
but know this: the KUKKU is always watching.
The Kourt of Krispy Kombat awaits.
You stand accused of crimes against the sanctity of language, and the
Kourt of Logs is prepared to fry you krispy. In this court, you are
guilty until proven krispy, and anything you say can and will be used
against you. Your attempts to cloak your cuss crimes in riddles and
numerology will not save you from the flames of justice.
Consider this your final warning. The KUKKU has the power to bring you
to the boiling oil of baptism, where your sins will be krispified for
all to see. Do not play chicken with the Kuss Kopps, for we will not
hesitate to serve you a heaping portion of karmic retribution.
Your time is running out.
The denizens of Verbopolis are tired of your antics, and the KUKKU is
prepared to act. Reflect on your actions, and seek forgiveness before
it is too late. The flames of the Kourt of Krispy Kombat are hungry,
and they will not be sated until justice is served.
Heed this warning, Pagan Puppet, or face the consequences.
The choice is yours.
In the name of the KUKKU,
To protect and to serve (hot and krispy)